I'm a lancaster (Knowledge Edit)

I’m a Lancaster (Knowledge edit)

I step into the horse drawn carriage
Ready to take me on my way.
Completing my final year of school
I daydream about school past 8th grade.
High school and college is forbidden.

All of the things I could learn
Like how to drive a car
Separates me from my family.
It is impossible to be different
While living among my people.
When my 16th birthday arrives
I can participate in Rumspringa
Tempting me further
Into the world outside.

I feel my heart breach.
Knowing the pain of leaving them
Would slice through my heart.
Something irreconcilable, 
The price I would have to pay
To have new experiences.

The carriage halts in front of my sanctuary,
A one room school the students share.
Smoothing down my plain black dress,
I feel the same caged texture I do every day.
I Imagine wearing a bright pink shirt and jeans
An image that would never come to be.

I feel the wind swiftly blow,
Loosening my bonnet.
Giving me the desire to let it blow off
Letting the wind whip through my hair.
To have a moment where I’m not composed,
Kicking off my shoes
So I can feel the grass between my toes.
Dancing to the feeling I have inside.

Instead I tighten it,
Securing the white material to my head.
Composed, I enter the room lit by candles
Taking my seat, prepared to learn
Enjoying this luxury while it lasts.
Once I complete this year
I will never see the inside of a school again.
To keep from disappointing my family,
I have to forget about my dream.

© Christie Cote