I step into the horse drawn carriage Ready to take me on my way. Completing my final year of school I daydream about school past 8th grade. High school and college is forbidden.
All of the things I could learn Like how to drive a car Separates me from my family. It is impossible to be different While living among my people. When my 16th birthday arrives I can participate in Rumspringa Tempting me further Into the world outside.
I feel my heart breach. Knowing the pain of leaving them Would slice through my heart. Something irreconcilable, The price I would have to pay To have new experiences.
The carriage halts in front of my sanctuary, A one room school the students share. Smoothing down my plain black dress, I feel the same caged texture I do every day. I Imagine wearing a bright pink shirt and jeans An image that would never come to be.
I feel the wind swiftly blow, Loosening my bonnet. Giving me the desire to let it blow off Letting the wind whip through my hair. To have a moment where I’m not composed, Kicking off my shoes So I can feel the grass between my toes. Dancing to the feeling I have inside.
Instead I tighten it, Securing the white material to my head. Composed, I enter the room lit by candles Taking my seat, prepared to learn Enjoying this luxury while it lasts. Once I complete this year I will never see the inside of a school again. To keep from disappointing my family, I have to forget about my dream.
He stumbles through the door Coming to be with me. Driving from afar, Barley able to see.
Not knowing the pain he felt, Would be so much more. I listen to the slur of words Poring from his core.
A flash of memories Spirals through my head. His innocent face Looking back at me. Hours spent on the phone. Talking endlessly about anything and everything He managed to escape for a night with me At a homecoming dance. We danced the night away Before the magic slipped away. Time went on. One thing staying constant, You and I. A rainy day you ran away, Hiding from danger. You came to me. I have always been your person
I stand here now Wondering how it became this bad. Seeing the mess in front of me, I wonder how he is not dead.
His eyes glossy, He shares his pain. The girl who broke his heart After he gave her everything. Sharing those precious secrets with her That only I had known before. In the end love lost Leaving only his best friend, Me.
Hours went by before he was able to drive Promising he would go right home. I should have known. He took the bottle from the backseat. Never expecting the chrome To collide with a tree. Not knowing what happened.
He wasn’t aware of the glass in his hair Unable to understand where the blood was comingfrom, He fumbled with his phone, Blood smearing from the gash on his thumb.
The message I received, Was a disjointed mess. I was only able to make out one word, Blood. Fear ran through me Knowing what he wouldn’t want to confess. The mistake I made by letting him go. I felt disappointment arrive Then anger and guilt followed. I never thought he would lie to me, Knowing how much I Abhor Drinking and Driving.
This game you play Is very dangerous. Like jumping out of a plane and Forgetting your parachute.
You act innocent, Like an angel from above. Pure and fragile. Your act only works on a crowd, I’m not part of it. I see you for who you are. Stripping away your white mask That fools everyone else. Revealing the darkness underneath. Not appreciative of what you already have You steal from others. Acting like you’re their friend Before flipping the switch.
You start a war. When I’m winning You retreat. Finding higher authority Hiding behind them Like I’m the one Who committed treason Stabbing one of my own. You can try to frame me But the truth will come out, As soon as they find your fingerprints.
You didn’t expect me to fight back When you first attacked. Thinking it was easy to bring me down. Sorry to disappoint you I’m not defeated, just like that. Don’t brake a nail Leave the scratching to a cat. I don’t pull hair, a powerless act. I connect my fist with your face Enjoying the feeling of first to jaw As blood splashes on my skin.
You may have begun this war Trying to take advantage of me. Fighting dirty. Despair will only fall on you. I will finish first Every time. I fight for victory Never backing down. The strength I have will shock you.
Think again before throwing punches my way. I will dodge every one. Your energy will be wasted You will only be defeated.
If you choose to fight anyways Finish what you started. You can’t retreat and hide Just because you are losing. In the end I will find you, Making you compensate For all you have done.
The plane couldn’t save you. I watch you fall through the air. Eventually your body will crash to the ground, With nothing there to stop you But the branches scraping across your skin.
Causing you every bit of pain You inflicted on me. As your body is sprawled out on the ground I hope you suffer. Remembering you caused this All because you played dangerously You didn’t have a parachute. You have nothing left, I persevere.