Looking Back

Looking Back

Today I find myself

Looking back

Thinking about how it should have been

Regrets are spread across the past

Trading in people who mattered

For one unforgiving mistake

Wanting to go back

Choosing the other path

Life has found its way

To where I am today

This person I have become

Is who I want to be

Both roads would have lead to here and now

Unfortunately the path I followed

Left behind the people

Who mattered most 

My heart feels the loss

I clearly still care

After all this time

I have the memories stored

And the thoughts of the ones that could have been

I can never get back

What I lost

Part of me hoping they understand

Disappointment in myself

For going against

Everything I was

Turning into a robot

Who couldn’t make choices

Or let my own voice be heard

When I went down that path

I became programmed

Stuck until I overrode it

Finding my voice again

Knowing I wasn’t the only one

Who got hurt in the process

Part of my life was taken away

A part I will never get back

My heart

Will always bare the scar

That will have the memories underneath

No matter where life takes me

I will always remember

© Christie Cote

August 4, 2010